Don't be too hard on yourself!
These days I come across so many lovely and hard working people, who have a lot on their plate!! Raising their family, working hard, keeping the house clean and in between working on their relationship(s) and creating a space for themselves and their own needs….
Life showed me that often a good balance is needed, because when you give away all your energy and love to others…you yourself may feel drained and even grumpy at times.
You may think now: so where do you think I should get that extra time? Before and after work my kids need me…and then, after dinner , I often feel too tired to follow through on the good ideas and promises I made to myself during the day.
Things such as, taking a hot bath, reading something I enjoy, having a good conversation with my partner… going to the gym or for a walk in the park… It all feels as if it is too much of an effort!
Let me tell you this! And Please Listen!
It is so beautiful what you do…and you are sooo good at doing it. Being a parent and a partner and a colleague…being in different places giving yourself and helping the world and your family to be (in) a better place!! You are awesome, exhausted maybe, but awesome!
How many times a day do you tell yourself: what an great and loving mother/father you are?? Feeding your children, dressing them, driving them around, making them laugh and maybe cry a little…play with them…you make them live and feel alive!
And how many times do you tell yourself you are a wonderful partner?? Creating money to support your family and going on trips with them, being there, to hold…and to be talked to or yelled at….all very important parts of life and the growth of you and others surrounding you!!
And how many times do you smile at yourself?? For letting yourself know how great you are for trying so hard! Doing your best so much! Giving your Love and wisdom and time to the people around you??
Now…take little steps…baby steps even…to make a good balance between you and all that is surrounding you…
- Leaving a little note for your partner…which fills the heart…so he/she can let this loving heart spill towards you again.
- Feel the warmth of the body next to you when you lie in bed or cuddle on the couch. Let it flow through you…letting your mind rest for a few seconds or minutes even.
- Watch…just watch, really watch your children and/or partner…and be aware of what feeling fills you.
- Having a note at your computer which tells you: “I love you, thank you for being here.”
- Allowing yourself to sit when you drink your coffee?! Only drink the coffee….let the multi-tasking…non-active…and really enjoy the coffee ;-) you deserve that!
- Keep breathing and thank yourself for that!
- Take a minute when you wash your hands….feel the warm water…run through your fingers.
- Smile, even when you drop something, when your kid made a mess or when your partner goes crazy…allow yourself to start laughing…not taking things so serious!
- Ask for help! You don’t have to do everything! And you don’t have to do everything alone! You are special to many people around you…give them the gift of allowing them to help you a little bit…giving you some space, time or a hand!
There are many more little steps I imagine and you may know which will be good for you!
So ask yourself, whát is it I CAN do? There is a lot maybe not possible within this part of your life! When your children are small and take a lot of your energy….but still there are these little things, special things that you love to do, feel, share or say… Those little things… you award yourself with a few times a day…for a couple of minutes…I truly believe you will feel much better.
Remember, you are the motor in your life, your life is the car…when you don’t fuel the engine of the car…it won’t drive!
Please share any other good ideas!! Because there are many parents out there who will love to hear some good ideas!
Live and Love...Yourself,
Tue, 12 January